Wheel of Miss-Fortune

 “Yes! I won!”

The utterance that started this whole mess. It all began when Evan’s wife Marie was reading the mail, and found an envelope that she’d been awaiting for weeks.

“I won, honey!” Marie waved the envelope around as she rushed into the living room, where Evan was watching TV.

“What’d you win?” Evan asked.

“I entered a contest for that Decades salon, they were giving away a free makeover and I won!” Marie exclaimed excitedly. “Oh wait… it’s a makeover for two…”

“Looks like you’re a double winner.” Evan said. “Who’re you going to bring?”

“I dunno… Say you’re probably gonna hate this idea but…” Marie started.

“What?” Evan asked.

“What if you came with me?” Marie replied.

“No way!” Evan said. “You’ve got friends you can take, I’m not interested.”

“But think about it? We spin the wheel and come out matching? We could end up being a Disco King and Queen… or look like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers!” Marie exclaimed.

“Do they even work on men there?” Evan asked.

“Probably… Maybe… I don’t know,” Marie replied. “Anyway, you owe me. I sat through that football game for you, and you agreed to do something I wanted to do. And I want to do this together.”

“Fine… But I’m not letting them do anything I don’t approve of.” Evan insisted.

Once Marie made the appointment, she anxiously awaited the bright Saturday morning that they’d be going into Decades.

“So what makes this salon so special?” Evan asked. “So what? They can make you over like a hippie flower child? How’s that any different than your regular salon?”

“It’s always random, you go in, you spin a wheel they have with different decades and styles listed, and whatever it lands on, you have to get.” Marie replied. “So anything’s possible.”

“I still don’t like this idea.” Evan said as he pulled into a parking spot across from the salon.

“Well, too bad.” Marie playfully stuck out her tongue. “This is my day.”

As they walked into the salon, Evan was taken aback at how bustling the place was. There were rows and rows of chairs and mirrors stretching into the building, and several curtains, which were soon revealed to be changing rooms as Evan saw many women walking out in period clothing. Though no men so far, but then again, even with regular salons, the clientele was far more feminine than masculine. Next to the receptionist’s desk there was a large wheel, with little spaces on them with different decades written down.

“Hi, I’m Marie, I won the contest, for the makeover for two.” Marie said at the front desk.

The receptionist, a bottle blonde whose name tag identified her as Candy, looked over the voucher and looked up to see Evan lingering behind Marie.

“And is your second here?” Candy asked.

“Right here!” Marie pulled Evan next to her.

“Perfect, just take a seat in the waiting area and we’ll be right with you, we’re a little behind this morning.” Candy said, motioning to a row of chairs.

Marie took Evan to sit down and they watched the other clients getting worked on. For Evan, it was a showing of what the gimmick was, as he watched clients go in looking one way and coming out looking another. A young woman with hair down to her waist came in, spun the wheel, and it landed on the 1920’s. After some tears at losing her hair, she sat into the chair, and a little while later exited the changing room as a Flapper girl with a short bob, feather in her hair and a long cigarette, looking like she walked out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel. That certainly convinced Evan that the salon meant business, though he was still unsure about the whole procedure.

“So they can just do anything? Evan asked.

“In the service of turning you into a person from whatever decade you landed on, yeah.” Marie replied.

“I think you should go alone, let me see if I want to do it after I see how you turn out.” Evan started to stand. “I mean, I haven’t seen a single dude since we walked in…”

“Marie and Evan?” Candy called. “It’s your turn to spin the wheel!”

“Yay!” Marie exclaimed and rushed out of her seat to the wheel.

“Now, do you want to spin together, or do you want to do it separately?” Candy asked.

“Together, if we can.” Marie replied. And as if sensing Evan about to contradict her. “It’ll be more fun if we match.”

Evan kept his mouth shut.

“All right, take a spin.” Candy said, stepping back.

Marie took hold of the wheel and spun with all her might. It spun throughout the decades as Evan and Marie watched with anticipation. Eventually, it slowed down and ticked slowly over the ‘2000s, ‘1990s, ‘1980s,‘1920s, ‘30s, ‘40s, before stopping on the 1950’s.

“Congratulations! You’ve won the 1950’s makeovers! If you’ll make your way to… oh, that’s too bad. I don’t have chairs next to each other, do you mind being apart?” Candy asked.

“Not at all.” Marie said, before turning to Evan. “That way we’ll both be surprised.”

“I don’t know, babe.” Evan started.

“Hush!” Marie said. “You promised!”

“Fine…” Evan sighed.

“Evan, you can go to chair sixteen, that’s in the back there, and Marie, you can have…” Candy’s voice trailed off as Evan made his way to the indicated chair.

When he arrived, he was greeted by a young raven-haired woman, who was flanked by two other women.

“Hi, there I’m Ellie, I’ll be handling your makeover.” Ellie stuck her hand out, which Evan shook. “And these are my assistants, Madge and Shannon.”

“So how does this work?” Evan asked. “You slick back my hair and give me a leather jacket?”

Madge and Shannon giggled as Ellie looked down at a tablet in her hands.

“It’s a little more complicated than that, but I think you’ll be surprised at the results.” Ellie said. “We don’t usually get clients like you, but I think my girls are up to the task.”

“Clients like me?” Evan asked.

“Just take a seat, sir, and we’ll handle everything from here on out.” Shannon said, helping Evan into the salon chair.

Evan sat in a very guarded way, keeping his hands in his lap. Ellie noticed, and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we’ve got a little something for nervous clients.” Ellie said, picking up a pair of wireless earbuds. “A little music.”

Evan accepted the earbuds, figuring that he might feel more at ease if he didn’t hear the bustle of the salon in the background. He placed them in his ears and immediately started hearing ‘50s pop music playing through it. At first he just listened to it, his fingers tapping on the arm-rest, but as it played, Evan began to feel more at ease.

“Just put your signature here.” Ellie handed Evan her tablet. “It’s a standard form, everyone had to sign it, even your wife.”

Which was true, because as Evan sat with the tablet, Marie did the same thing in her spot. Of course she read it, but it was truly a standard form, just removing any liability from the salon in the event that they were dissatisfied. Marie couldn’t see any reason she’d be dissatisfied, so she went ahead and signed it.

Normally, Evan would have read what was on it, but he was feeling so nice and content, that he just scribbled his signature down and returned to listening. His mind started to wander by the time that Ellie dunked his head into the basin of warm water.

“Don’t worry, when we’re finished, you’ll be the perfect image of the ‘50s.” Ellie said.

Ellie started massaging his scalp as she worked in the shampoo, which was extremely relaxing and felt really good. So good that the tension Evan had felt when he walked in started to drift away and his mind started to wander. As the music continued to play, Evan continued to feel at ease. As he finally relaxed, Ellie noticed that Evan had finally become comfortable in the chair.

"Don't worry, we'll have you looking gorgeous in no time." Ellie said as Madge and Shannon began prepping a few other items to use.

“You’re lucky that your color is already perfect.” Madge giggled as she ran her fingers through Evan’s medium-length auburn hair. All Evan could do was give a goofy smile, before he drifted off again.

As Evan sat, his eyes glazed over, Ellie worked the shampoo through his hair and rinsed it off.

Then she used a towel to dry his hair a little, before getting a hair dryer out and drying the hair. Once she finished, she began weaving in auburn hair extensions into his existing hair, while Madge worked on trimming his existing hair into a feminine style, focusing on his bangs. Once the extensions were weaved in, Ellie had Madge bring over a set of curlers.

Ellie rolled the front of his hair on top into two large stand-up curlers, before moving onto the rest of his head, pulling everything else into two rows of large pin curls around the side and back.

Once that was done, she tapped his shoulder.

"Evan? Honey, get up, we need to move you to the dryer." Ellie said.

In his drowsy and relaxed state, he barely recognized what she was saying, but her reassuring voice made him simply allow her to guide him over to the dryer. Surprisingly, they had a row of hair dryer domes set up, like would be present in a traditional ‘50s salon. Evan sat down and Ellie dropped the dome onto his head.

"Oh, cute," he thought. "The retro dryer too. They're really giving me an authentic experience."

Evan hadn't yet noticed the tightness and heaviness sitting on top of his head. As he sat, Madge walked over and grabbed one of his hands, starting to file the nails. Evan wanted to object, but the heat from the dryer was making his drowsiness return and his eyes slowly shut once again. Evan’s mind continued to wander, and the dome obscured his vision, so even when his eyes were open and focusing, he couldn’t see past his own face.

That meant that he wasn’t aware when Madge started to shape his nails. Nor when she started to attach acrylic tips, and polished them a bright red, or when Shannon started doing some light makeup work on his face, brushing foundation and rouge onto his face and cheeks, using mascara on his eyes, along with some eye-shadow, and a light, coral shade of lipstick onto his lips. And even if he did, something about the music made him feel entirely at ease.

Evan was so heavily at east, in fact, that he didn't even notice when Madge took his shoes off and started giving him a pedicure.

Once the dryer was lifted, he was stood up again and led back to the first chair, where Ellie started to undo the curlers, not that he could tell what she was doing. While she had faced his chair away from the view of the mirror, he noticed a heaviness on his face and hands. Ellie was blocking his hands as she undid the curlers, but he licked his lips and found an... unfamiliar taste on them.

"Is that lip balm?" he thought to himself.

Once Ellie undid the curlers, she started to style his hair, which didn't take very long, before she tore the cape off and turned Evan around, revealing...

"Oh my god!" Evan exclaimed.

He looked like a woman! His hair was curly, reminiscent of a classic Hollywood starlet, his face was made up, with bright red lips, winged eyeliner and delicately arched eyebrows. Evan raised his hand to his face, discovering his polished and rounded nails. He wanted with all his might to object, but for some reason, his shock gave way to a wave of contentment.

“That’s not all, Evan.” Ellie helped Evan up and led him into one of the changing rooms.

Hanging up was a garment bag and Evan didn’t put up a fight as Madge and Shannon helped him strip down, nor did he fight as they pulled a girdle over his waist, pantyhose over his legs and a bullet bra over his chest. Once they pulled up a pair of panties, they moved onto the garment bag, opening it, revealing a red polka dotted circle dress with a black waistband.

“Feels nice, right?” Madge asked.

Evan could sense that something was wrong, but he couldn’t fight it.

“Yeah…” Evan sighed.

Evan’s feet were lifted and placed into a pair of red kitten heels. Shannon quickly put a pearl necklace around Evan’s neck and attached two clip-on pearl earrings to his ears, taking special care not to knock out the earbuds. Once that was finished, Evan looked every bit the perfect ‘1950s housewife.

“Come on, your wife is almost done.” Ellie returned and grabbed Evan’s hand, leading him to the front of the store.

Marie was thrilled as she exited her dressing room wearing a blue polka dotted circle dress. She looked gorgeous! In fact, she looked nearly identical to that girl standing over at the entrance.

“What are the odds that the wheel landed there twice in a row?” Marie thought to herself.

As Marie approached, Evan idly stood, swaying in the unfamiliar heels and playing with his skirt.

“Oh, that was delightful!” Marie gushed, before looking around. “Where’s my husband?”

“Right here.” Candy pointed to Evan, who finally noticed Marie and waved to her.

“Evan?” Marie questioned. “You look… Well you look gorgeous, but that’s beside the point. You let them do this to you?”

Evan nodded dreamily as he gazed into his wife’s eyes. Marie could tell that Evan wasn’t thinking straight, but she couldn’t help but notice what a good job they’d done on him. In fact, she wasn’t quite sure, but Evan might have come out better looking than Marie herself!

“You both signed the forms, if you’re dissatisfied…” Candy started.

“No, no, I’m not dissatisfied…” Marie cut her off. “It’s unexpected but…”

Marie thought of all the macho football games or concerts that she’d been dragged to throughout her marriage to Evan. And if he said yes to everything...

“Thank you girls so much!” Marie said. “We’ll definitely be back.”

“Glad you enjoyed your makeovers!” Candy said.

“Oh wait!” Ellie rushed up and popped the earbuds out of Evan’s ears.

Evan’s mind, which had previously felt like it was floating in Jell-O, suddenly started firing on all cylinders. And he was so shocked as he finally realized how he was dressed, spotting himself in a mirror, that he was speechless, his painted lips simply making a shocked expression.

Marie quickly realized what was going on and quickly grabbed Evan’s hand and led him out of the store, despite a few stumbles in the heels, they managed to get outside with little incident.

“Since it is still my day after all, I think we should go shopping.” Marie said. “There’s that new vintage store downtown, how does that sound, Evelyn? We’ll need more than just these darling new outfits, wouldn’t you say?”

Evan started to nod, but his mind finally cleared, free of the music and atmosphere of the salon. He stumbled as he suddenly and quickly came to terms with his new look.

“Oh boy…” Evan sighed.

This was going to be a long day. And he had no idea just how much Marie had planned.

The End