Impossibly Delicious

 A car drove past a billboard on the road that proclaimed “Try the BRAND NEW Impossible Burger at BQ!”. Inside the car, Stacy turned to her boyfriend Brendan.

“Do you think you’re gonna try the Impossible Burger?” Stacy asked.

“I don’t know. It seems interesting, but I’m a meat-eater, so I don’t see any time I’d want a vegan burger.” Brendan said.

“It would be healthier.” Stacy added. “And apparently you can’t taste the difference.”

“I’ll just have to see, although I’ve heard stories online that the burger makes guys grow boobs.” Brendan chuckled. “Something about plant estrogen.”

“That stupid conspiracy theory? It’s not scientifically accurate, and plant estrogen is in like a bunch of other foods.” Stacy said. “Besides, the only people who believe that are far-right lunatics.”

“I dunno, I guess I’ll just have to see if I’m ever in the mood to try it.” Brendan said.

A few days later, Brendan was taking his lunch break from the office, and passed by a Burger Queen. Walking inside, Brendan spotted a familiar face, his friend Luke in the line.

“Luke! What’s up?” Brendan asked as he joined Luke on the line.

Luke was a big guy, broad shoulders, beefy arms, and a lumberjack beard, truly a man’s man.

“Not much, just here to try out the new Impossible Burger.” Luke replied.

“Really? Never pegged you for a vegetarian.” Brendan said.

“I’m not, it just seemed like an interesting thing to get.” Luke said. “Plus, if I wanna keep these muscles, I’ve gotta stay healthy.”

“Good point.” Brendan nodded as Luke flexed.

After they ordered and received their food, Brendan and Luke sat down at a nearby table and started to eat.

“How is it?” Brendan asked as Luke took a bite out of his Impossible Burger.

“It’s incredible! It tastes just like beef!” Luke exclaimed. “Wanna try?”

“I think I’ll pass…” Brendan said. “I’m content with my chicken sandwich.”

“Your loss…” Luke muttered as he continued eating.

Returning home that night, Brendan sat down on the couch next to Stacy as yet another commercial played on the TV for the “Impossible Burger”.

“They’re really promoting the crap out of this thing, that’s the sixth one during this show!” Brendan remarked.

“I guess it’s really good.” Stacy said. “Have you had it yet?”

“No, but I ran into Luke today and he was raving about it.” Brendan said.

A few days later, Brendan decided to take his lunch break at Burger Queen once more, and got on line.

“Hmm… Maybe I will get the Impossible Burger today…” Brendan mused. “Then again, I feel like maybe I want the fish sandwich…”

“Brendan!” a voice shouted from behind.

Brendan turned around and was shocked by what he saw. Luke’s full beard was gone, and his hair, which seemed longer, sat messily around his face.

“Luke! Holy shit! You shaved the beard!” Brendan exclaimed.

“Yeah, I just felt like a change.”Luke said nervously.

“And your hair… it seems longer.” Brendan said. “It's only been a few days, is that possible?”

“I was running late after the gym and didn’t have time to brush, that’s why you notice.” Luke said, running his hand over his hair to smooth it down.

“I see.” Brendan said. “Back for another burger?”

“You know it! That Impossible Burger is so good!” Luke said. “You gonna try it?”

“Maybe another time.” Brendan said worriedly.

Later, Brendan and Stacy were laying in bed together as Brendan explained his concerns about Luke.

“I’m telling you, right after he ate the burger, he started acting weird.” Brendan said. “You know Luke, he loved that beard!”

“People can change their opinions about their looks whenever they want.” Stacy said. “Like if I wanted to be a brunette tomorrow, I could be.”

“I think something’s going on with Luke.” Brendan said. “I just hope he’s okay.”

A few days later, Brendan was arriving at the gym to work out, since he had to make up for all the fast food he’d been eating lately. As he arrived, he bumped into a person wearing a bulky hoodie and sweatpants, knocking them to the floor.

“Sorry about that.” Brendan said, extending his hand to help the person up.

The person took his hand and Brendan began to help pull them up. The hood fell back, revealing Luke, who looked emaciated compared to how Brendan remembered. His full face was thinner, his hair was much longer and messily tied back with some longer strands glued to his face by sweat, plus, despite the implausibility of it, Brendan almost felt that Luke was shorter than he’d been just a few days earlier.

“Luke?” Brendan exclaimed. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing, I think I’ve got a bug or something, but it’s fine, I’m working on it.” Luke said, his arms crossed over his chest.

Brendan’s eyes drifted and he could swear he noticed something straining against the hoodie on Luke’s chest.

“They couldn’t possibly be breasts, right?” Brendan thought, then aloud he said, “Luke, whatever the problem is, I’m there for you. Stacy too! If you need anything…”

“Just let it go, okay?” Luke's voice cracked, as he demanded, pushing past Brendan and rushed out of the gym.

Brendan could only watch with concern and dismay at what his friend had become. There was definitely something going on there.

“All right, all right!” Stacy exclaimed. “I’ll eat the stupid burger, but I still think you’re overreacting. I mean, what are the odds that all this stuff happened to Luke just because he ate a burger. We’d hear about this stuff on the news!”

“I know, I just… I need to be sure.” Brendan said, frantically. “Luke won’t talk to me, he hasn’t answered the door…”

“I know how worried you are about him. I am too.” Stacy said. “I’ll order in, you want anything?”

“Yeah, just get me a regular burger.” Brendan said.

A while later, the couple was sitting on the couch, eating the burgers. Brendan put the last piece of his burger into his mouth and swallowed. Stacy put down her burger and examined it again.

“It’s amazing! It actually tastes just like meat, you’ve gotta try it!” Stacy insisted.

“I don’t think so.” Brendan said, putting a hand on his stomach. “Even if I wasn’t full…”

“I just can’t believe it.” Stacy looked at the wrapper.

She turned to the wrapper that Brendan was quickly balling up. Her face fell and she grabbed it out of his hands.

“Hold on!” Stacy demanded, unwrapping the wrapper slowly. “Oh no…”

“What?” Brendan asked.

“I think they screwed up the order. I think we got two Impossible burgers.” Stacy replied.

Brendan started to feel nauseous, but pushed the feelings back.

“Guess it really did taste just like meat, right?” Stacy asked. “And listen, it’s like I said, whatever’s going on with Luke might not even be related to the stupid burger. Brendan? Brendan!”

Brendan couldn’t respond, he simply stared forward with a worried expression on his face.

The next morning, Brendan woke up, and immediately knew something was wrong. His chest felt like it was on fire! Brendan rushed into the bathroom and turned on the lights. He looked into the mirror as he examined his chest. His pecs were puffy and the nipples were red and swollen.

“What the hell is all this?” Stacy shouted from the other room. “Brendan! Why is there hair all over the bed?”

“Why is there what?” Brendan asked, before looking down at his body.

His normally hairy legs, hairy chest, hairy arms, they were all smooth and bare. For the first time, he noticed how cold the linoleum floor was as he felt chills going up his body.

“Did you hear me?” Stacy asked. “I said why is there…”

Stacy stopped in her tracks as Brendan turned around and she saw his chest and lack of body hair.

“What the hell?” Stacy asked.

The doctor looked over a clipboard of test results as he turned back to Brendan, sitting on the exam table fidgeting around.

“Well, this is absolutely incredible.” the doctor said.

“What’s wrong with me, doc?” Brendan asked.

“According to the blood test, you’ve had a sudden spike in estrogen, which is essentially causing your body to… for lack of a better term, go through a second puberty. Except it’s a version of female puberty.” the doctor said. “And you’re sure the only estrogen you’ve been exposed to was that burger? You didn’t accidentally take some of your girlfriend’s birth control pills by mistake?”

“The only thing out of the ordinary was the burger.” Brendan insisted.

“I see…” the doctor noted on his chart.

“Can this be reversed? Is it gonna turn me into a full on woman?” Brendan asked.

“Unfortunately, I can’t answer that. You’re the first case I’ve seen,” the doctor replied. “Your case is unique for the moment until I have a case study.”

Over the next few days, Brendan experienced slow changes, his hair growing, loss of muscle mass, and the swelling in his chest eventually graduated into being what Stacy qualified as A-cup breasts. At her insistence, he started wearing a bra. But the biggest change came on the third day, when he stood up from bed and discovered that he’d lost about two inches off of his height.

He’d given Luke enough space and hadn’t even tried to visit as he and Stacy were too preoccupied with figuring out what was going on with Brendan’s body. But now he had to find his friend.

“Luke! Open up! I need to talk!” Brendan frantically pounded on the door to Luke’s apartment. “I had the burger, it’s happening to me too! I’m freaking out and I need to know you’re okay!”

After a few moments, Brendan heard the door unlocking. He stepped back and looked at the floor as the door opened. In front of him, he saw a pair of dainty feet with painted toenails. Following it up the body, he saw a pair of shapely legs in yoga pants, a t-shirt covering a pair of C-cup breasts, and Luke’s face, all the features were there, just changed, and with makeup on them. A smaller nose, fuller lips, and long hair tied in a messy bun. To top things off, the friend who used to be inches taller than him was now dwarfed by Brendan’s 5’8” frame.

“Luke? Brendan asked, his voice cracking.

“I… I go by Lucy now.” Lucy replied in a higher voice.

In what was formerly Luke’s, and now Lucy’s apartment, the two friends caught up over coffee. Brendan watched as Lucy’s hands with manicured fingernails gripped the mug as she… there was no other way Brendan could think of Lucy, lifted it to her face.

“Is that part of it?” Brendan asked, motioning to Lucy’s fingers.

“Oh, the nail polish? No, they just grew longer.” Lucy said. “My sister Carrie did that. She was the first person I told.”

“The nurse.” Brendan remembered.

“Yeah, I figured she could help me, but she couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I didn’t even consider it was the burger until I had the second one and things started to ramp up faster. I mean, it’s been a few days for you and you’re still mostly male. I was way further along. “Lucy said. “That’s why I was so skittish at the gym. I was trying to… I dunno, sweat it out? Or bulk up my body? But it wasn’t working, and when I saw you… I was ashamed, I guess. That’s why I ran.”

“And you’ve just accepted it?” Brendan asked.

“Not accepted, but it doesn’t seem like there’s a cure, so I’ve got to make the most of it. At least that’s what Carrie said. She’d been a real help, buying me clothes, teaching me about being a woman.” Lucy said.

“Do you still have… you know?” Brendan asked. “Mine hasn’t changed yet but…”

“I’m surprised at you, Brendan! Asking a lady about what’s in her pants!” Lucy made a mock offended face, then softened. “It’s still there… but it’s shrinking, and hasn’t been much use. I don’t think it’ll just go away, but Carrie said if it gets small enough, I’d need surgery so that I can pee correctly.”

“Is that gonna happen to me?” Brendan asked, shocked.

“I don’t know.” Lucy said, grabbing Brendan’s hand. “Like I said, I had a double dose so my experience might be greater. Who knows? You might be able to reverse the changes.”

“I hope you’re right…” Brendan sighed.

“Do you mind showing me how far along you are?” Lucy asked.

“I guess not…” Brendan said.

Brendan stood up and pulled up his loose-fitting t-shirt to show Lucy his chest. She simply nodded solemnly. Things were far from over, this was only the beginning.

A month later, things were very different. Brendan and Lucy were no longer alone, countless men had come out to reveal that their bodies underwent a strange change after exposure to the Impossible Burger. The burgers were recalled, but apparently the change had something to do with specific genetic markers, so not every man who ate it was changed. Brendan envied those men as he stared at himself in the mirror. His breasts had stopped growing at B-cup, and Stacy and Lucy had encouraged Brendan to embrace femininity as no news of a cure was forthcoming.

Brendan wasn’t entirely convinced that he should give up on masculinity, but had conceded to wearing panties as the shrinkage began in his groin.

“It’ll be more comfortable, I promise.” Lucy said as Brendan scrutinized himself in the mirror.

The image was confusing to him. On the one hand, he looked like himself, it's not like his skull had changed shape, but subtle changes, his lips becoming fuller, his nose reshaping slightly and his eyes had even changed shape.

Brendan was even less sure of embracing makeup and hairstyling. Up to this point, he’d been content to leave his raven-black hair in a low ponytail, but Stacy and Lucy insisted on some modifications. Brendan pouted as Lucy worked Brendan’s hair into a french braid.

“Listen, I know it’s uncomfortable, baby.” Stacy said. “But you’ve got to start making strides.”

“I’m fine the way I am!” Brendan insisted, crossing his arms. His voice had gone up a few octaves in the last month.

“I was the same way, Stace.” Lucy said, walking into the bedroom. “Of course I was justified since only a few days ago I’d been a man’s man. Brendan, you’ve had a month to cope with this.”

“Maybe I just don’t want to cope, did you think about that?” Brendan snapped. “Maybe I don’t want to be a woman!”

“Baby, we know this is tough, but if there isn’t a cure, and it sure as hell looks like there isn’t, you need to be prepared to face the world as… Well, a woman!” Stacy said.

“Believe me, it doesn’t get easier.” Lucy said.

It was a similar fight a few days later, as Stacy and Lucy tried to get Brendan to pick out an outfit for work.

“You’ve already done the hard part, you told your job what happened, they understand because it’s a national crisis, and they’re prepared to make accommodations.” Stacy said.

“I just don’t see why I can’t wear my own clothes. My… male clothes.” Brendan said.

“We’ve already gone over that, for one thing, you’ve lost almost six inches since this whole thing started and your feet have shrunk, you just don’t fit into any of them, at least not comfortably.” Lucy said, holding out a skirt. “Besides, you should at least try one on. I ended up liking ‘em.”

“Well maybe I’m not you!” Brendan shouted. “Maybe you were never a real man anyway, if you’re so willing to throw away everything just cause you grew a pair of tits!”

Lucy stared down Brendan with fire in her eyes. Lucy’s fists curled, but she quickly unclenched them.

“I’m going to forgive you for that because I know how hard this all is, but that was uncalled for.” Lucy said. “I’m gonna go.”

Lucy dropped the skirt and stormed out of the room.

“Wait, Luce… Lucy!” Bredan tried to give chase, but Lucy had already exited the apartment.

Stacy came over and put her arm around Brendan.

“It’ll be okay, baby.” Stacy said as Brendan began to sob into her shoulder.

His first day back at work was an event, everyone walked on eggshells around him, some even afraid to call him by his name. Many of the victims, like Lucy, had changed their names to suit their new looks. Brendan wasn’t one of them. He was still holding on, wearing the bare minimum of gendered clothing, a simple blouse, dress pants, even his shoes, while a women’s style, were nondescript enough to pass for men’s shoes.

He clipped his nails as short as they could go, short enough to cause pain to prevent his nails from growing long enough to be painted or shaped. And in a fit of rage, he’d cut off a good chunk of his hair. It took Stacy and Lucy together to restore it into a proper short style, which, ironically, looked far more feminine than it had before. It was after that incident that both Stacy and Lucy insisted that Brendan go to therapy, as had been suggested for victims of the Impossible Burger.

The tension in the room was palpable as Brendan and the psychologist had a staring match. Neither of them spoke until the psychologist cleared her throat and spoke up.

“Why don’t we start with why you’re here?” she asked.

“Because Stacy and Lucy think that I need to be here.” Brendan replied.

“Who are Stacy and Lucy?” the psychologist asked.

“My girlfriend and my best friend.” Brendan replied.

“Let’s explore that. Why do they think that?” she asked.

“Because my body is changing into a woman’s and they want me to cope with it.” Brendan replied.

“And why don’t you want to cope with it?”

“Because I refuse to give up! I’m a man, I’ve always been a man and if I start acting girly, I’m just letting this thing destroy everything that makes me… me!”

“Your identity seems to be very tied into your presented gender.”

“Of course it is! If you woke up with a dick tomorrow, would you be okay with that?”

“I don’t suppose I would…” the psychologist chuckled. “But we’re not here to talk about me. You mentioned ‘giving up’, why don’t you explain that to me? Why do you consider adapting to be giving up?”

“Because it’s not right! I don’t…” Brendan started to sob. “Stupid hormones… I just want things to go back to normal.”

“We both know that’s not possible. And adapting isn’t giving up. If you had lost a leg, and insisted on walking around without a crutch or prosthetic, would that make sense?”

“That’d be stupid, if I don’t have the leg, I need that stuff to walk.”

“And if you don’t have your gender… Look, no one is saying that you have to go around wearing dresses and heels and makeup all the time. Not every woman does that nor should they be expected to. But at the same time, refusing to explore this new world you’ve entered is preventing you from growing as a person.”

“That’s what Lucy said…” Brendan muttered.

“And Lucy…”

“She’s another victim like me, only she went all-in on being a girl once she realized she couldn’t go back.”

“I see. And do you think it’s possible that some of your problems with adapting are related to how quickly your best friend adapted?”

“I guess it’s possible…” Brendan started. “Luke was the manliest guy I knew and then he just became a girly girl overnight! It’s not right! He didn’t even fight!”

“I’m sure that isn’t true. You said that you wanted things to go back to normal. Lucy simply changed her definition of normal, sure, this isn’t what you could consider to be ‘normal’ for a man, but it’s very ‘normal’ for a woman. Think about it.”

Brendan sat there for a moment and ruminated on what he’d been told.

It was a long time coming, but Brendan and Stacy’s relationship was over. At least the intimate aspect of it. They both realized it at the same time. After another attempt at lovemaking, despite Brendan’s performance issues, given the shrinkage he’d experienced, which ended in failure, they both laid back, staring at the ceiling. They turned to each other at the exact same time.

“I…” they said in unison. “No… you go first.”

“I’ll go…” Brendan said. “I appreciate how supportive you’ve been, and I still love you just as much as I did before the burger but…”

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore.” Stacy blurted out. “At least… not sexual or romantic ones. That’s what you were going to say… I could feel it. I feel the same way.”

They both frowned.

“I guess on some level, we knew this was coming.” Brendan said. “Right? The psychologist said that it was ‘normal’ but who knows what ‘normal’ is like this?”

“Yeah… But this doesn’t change that we’re friends. I don’t want you out of my life, and I hope that you still want me in yours. Although maybe one of us should take the guest room.” Stacy said.

“Lucy said she was looking for a roommate. I think I might take her up on her offer.” Brendan said.

“You’re just going to leave me? I didn’t want you to leave, I just wanted…” Stacy started tearing up.

“It’s not because we won’t be together. I just think it would be healthier. Wouldn’t it be super awkward if you start dating again and bringing home partners while your ex is in the other room?” Brendan asked, wiping Stacy’s tears away.

Stacy nodded. The two embraced in a long hug as they realized their formerly entwined futures had been severed from each other.

“Besides, the psychologist said that I had to find a new normal, and all this place reminds me of is my old normal. If I want to find out who I am now, I need a change.” Brendan said.

A few weeks later, Brendan and Lucy had formed new routines once Brendan moved in, making it a point to share breakfast together before they went to work. Brendan uncomfortably adjusted his bra strap through his shirt.

“Given any thought to my offer? Once this stabilized, going back to the gym was a first step back to normalcy.” Lucy said. “You can try out my yoga class if you want.”

“Yoga? That’s so stereotypical! Just because I look like this doesn’t mean I’m going to become a girly girl and I’m not gonna be doing free weights and rowing.” Brendan scoffed.

“I didn’t say that was all I did.” Lucy chuckled. “Either way, yoga is good for giving me a sense of balance. You could try anything, yoga, spin class, or just go back to the machines, though you’d have to adjust your old routines. Oh, I should let you know, I might not be home tonight. I’ve got a date.”

“A date?” Brendan asked.

“Yeah, this guy Craig from work, we’ve been talking for a few days and really hitting it off.” Lucy replied.

“You’ve been dating guys?” Brendan questioned. “That’s so gay!”

“Not anymore.” Lucy motioned to her body. “I haven’t felt anything from a woman for weeks now. It’s the next logical step. You and Stacy have been separated for a bit now, when are you going back in the field?”

“I don’t know… I’m not attracted to women anymore, but I haven’t felt anything for a guy… maybe I’m asexual now.” Brendan said.

“That’s what I thought, just wait.” Lucy giggled as Brendan rolled his eyes.

Later, Brendan walked into the gym in an exercise shirt and exercise pants. The shirt was bulky, but the pants unavoidably accentuated Brendan’s new curves. A sports bra underneath the shirt kept his chest bound, but Brendan still felt stares. Lucy had insisted, since his hair wasn’t really long enough for a ponytail, that he use a headband to hold his hair back, which Brendan reluctantly acquiesced to.

This was his first time back in the gym since the burger, and he’d lost a lot of muscle mass, owed mostly to the fact that the changes redistributed fat and muscle to create his new body. The changes had pretty much halted, so Brendan felt that now was the best time to work on bulking himself back up. His first step was to re-acclimate himself with the free weights. As he approached the rack, Brendan noticed a man standing in front of the weight that he wanted.

“Scuse me.” Brendan pushed past the man.

“Sorry.” the man stepped back. “Oh hey, it’s you!”

Brendan scrutinized the man’s face, not really recognizing it. It was the same sort of face that Luke used to have. Square jaw, beard, in a way, Brendan envied him.

“Do I know you?” Brendan asked.

“Not officially, I guess. I’m Marshall.” the man held out his hand.

“Brendan.” Brendan hesitantly shook Marshall’s hand.

“You used to come here a lot, I used to use the elliptical machine right after you.” Marshall said. “I noticed a lot of guys stopped coming. Not hard to figure out why. I’m glad that you decided to come back.”

“Yeah, so am I.” Brendan smiled. It was nice to find someone who didn't care about offending him.

“I’m a personal trainer… you know, and I’ve been helping a lot of people like you with new routines because of… you know.” Marshall stammered.

“Thanks but…” Brendan started, but remembered the talk with the psychologist.

”You need to find a new normal.”

“You know what? What do you recommend?” Brendan asked.

A week later, Brendan and Marshall were still trying out new additions for Brendan’s new routine. Brendan couldn’t bench press anymore, at least not yet, but they substituted a chest press machine to help build up his arms.

“And… finished!” Marshall said.

“Finally…” Brendan sighed as Marshall handed him a towel and a water bottle. “Thanks.”

“I think we’re starting to find what works.” Marshall said as they started to head towards the locker rooms.

“Agreed.” Brendan said. “But I’m still not back to full speed yet.”

“Say, this might be weird, but do you wanna get dinner, maybe discuss some workout ideas I had? Cause you’re the first person I’ve had who’s stuck with it as strictly, I was thinking of making it an official thing. Maybe you could help me refine it?” Marshall asked. “Nothing fancy, just a diner or something.”

“Oh!” Brendan blushed.

They had been spending a lot of time together, but only at the gym. But Brendan couldn’t deny how his heart jumped whenever he felt Marshall’s hands adjusting his position, or the hot flush he got when he thought about the workouts while sitting at home. Since his breakup with Stacy, he hadn’t done much in the self-gratification department, given the utter uselessness of his equipment. Not that Lucy hadn’t tried to convince him to try… other means.

”I’ve got some toys if you want to experiment.” Lucy had said.

“No!” Brendan replied. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, Luce.”

“Suit yourself. Of course, nothing beats the real thing…” Lucy giggled.

“Gross! I don’t wanna hear it!” Brendan covered his ears.

It was only a matter of time after his discovery of loss of sexual attraction to women that he’d discover a new focus for it. Much like the support he’d gotten from Stacy and Lucy, his friendship with Marshall had been helping him through the changes. So it was an easy decision.

“Sure!” Brendan replied. “Sounds like fun.”

As they approached the locker room, Brendan and Marshall stopped by the door to continue their conversation. As they did, Lucy strolled out carrying her gym bag.

“Hey guys!” Lucy said. “Just finishing up?”

“You know it!” Brendan remarked.

“So I’ll pick you up around six?” Marshall asked.

“Sounds good. See you then.” Brendan replied, blushing.

Lucy smiled as Marshall walked away. She turned to Brendan.

“Going out on a date with a guy? Isn’t that gay?” Lucy asked.

“Shut up!” Brendan blushed even harder. “It’s not a date! We’re just friends.”

“Sure you are. That’s why you’re redder than a tomato right now.” Lucy said.

“Oh my god… it is a date.” Brendan muttered. “What am I gonna wear?”

“Now who’s being stereotypical?” Lucy giggled.

Marshall pulled up to the front of Brendan’s apartment building, looking around for Brendan. He’d been expecting Brendan to be wearing baggy clothes like he had at the gym. He wasn’t expecting to see Brendan exiting the building in a midriff-baring blouse, skirt and heels. Nor was he expecting Brendan to be wearing makeup, as light as it was, it was noticeable. Brendan walked with full concentration on his steps, heading for the car. Clearly this was his first time ever walking in heels.

Brendan opened the car door and hopped into the passenger seat. He smiled as he turned to Marshall.

“Brendan… this is a new look for you.” Marshall said.

“Yeah, I… I figured I should switch it up a bit.” Brendan nervously laughed. “Do you like it?”

“It looks good on you?” Marshall said. “I dunno, you don’t look comfortable in it.”

“Yeah, I’m not. But Lucy convinced me to really get out of my comfort zone. I think I’m gonna stick with pants and flats in the future.” Brendan smiled.

“Do you want to go change?” Marshall asked. "I'll wait, it's not like we have reservations or anything."

Brendan hesitated a moment before he quickly opened the door to the car and hopped out.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” Brendan replied as he rushed back into the building as Marshall laughed.

After finding his new normal, Brendan had changed drastically. He’d let his hair grow out and had it in a messy layered style with bangs. While he hadn’t taken to feminine clothing, he’d grown a healthy appreciation for hair-care. As he walked downstairs, wearing a pair of jean-shorts and a tank top, he passed by a few neighbors and waved to them, admiring his painted nails, sporting a sky-blue polish, another feminine affectation that he’d taken to after a night in with Lucy. Exiting the building, he approached Marshall, waiting outside for him.

“Hey, babe.” Brendan pecked Marshall on the lips while standing on his tip-toes, also sporting the same polish that was shown off in the sandals he was wearing.

“Ready for the big day?” Marshall asked.

“Yeah. This past year has been rough, but I think this is healthy to do.” Brendan replied.

“You know you don’t have to do it, right?” Marshall reminded.

“I know, but to be honest, at this point it feels weird not to.” Brendan replied. “Besides, it’s such a small thing now anyway.”

As the couple approached a local bar, they walked in, finding a table near the back occupied by Stacy, Lucy, and Lucy’s boyfriend Craig. As they sat down, Lucy placed an envelope on the table.

“Came in the mail this morning.” Lucy said. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.” Brendan sighed, taking the envelope. “Before I open this, I just want to thank everyone for their support. Stacy, without you, I don’t know how I’d have coped with the changes. Lucy, you helped me learn to accept them, and Marshall, you showed me that change wasn’t always bad. Craig, you helped me the most, because you’ve managed to keep Lucy too distracted to make me over into a girly girl.”

The group laughed as Brendan used his nail to slice open the envelope and pulled out the contents.

“So, what do you think?” Brendan pulled out an ID card and showed it to everyone.

On the card was a recent photo of Brendan, but next to his picture was the word “Brenda”.

“I haven’t figured out whether I’m going to go whole hog on the pronouns, but I think my new self needed a new name.” Brenda said.

“I think that’s a beautiful name.” Marshall said.

“I still can’t believe that this all started because of a burger.” Stacy muttered.

“Yeah, if you told me this would be how my life would turn out…” Brenda started. “I’d tell you that was impossible.”

As they laughed, they also raised their glasses and toasted to Brenda’s new life.

The End

A Mixed-Up Wedding

A Mixed-Up Wedding:

Since their return from the resort, Carl and Felicia's lives had been a flurry of wedding planning during the week, and quiet weekends in the apartment where Felicia got a chance to spend time with Carly. Nothing as drastic as the first two times, but some makeup and Felicia's magic touch to his hair, and Carly was never too far away. The end of these weekends were always disappointing to Felicia, but they were a necessary evil, Carl wanted Carly kept under wraps between them.

As the couple laid in bed on Sunday morning, Carl, dressed in a nightgown, looked over some paperwork from his job as a paralegal, poking through them with manicured fingers with nails painted a soft pink. Felicia reached over and grabbed one of the papers from Carl’s hands.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't do any Carl things while you're Carly." Felicia pouted.

"We've just got this big case and I need to check what I'll be researching this week." Carl said, before smiling, putting the papers down and turning his attention back to Felicia.

Carl and Felicia spent a few moments gazing into each other's eyes while Felicia put her hand onto Carl's face, before moving up to his ears.

"Maybe we can pierce your ears next week..." Felicia played with Carl's earlobe.

"Yeah, cause that'll be easy to explain at work..." Carl muttered.

"Lots of guys have pierced ears now. Some even do both ears." Felicia said.

"We're already tempting fate with me keeping my nails groomed, and don't even get me started on the hair." Carl said. "Besides, what would your parents say? What would my parents say?"

"I don't see why your ears should be a concern to them." Felicia said. "And someone who does as much handshaking as you do should have nice nails anyhow."

"Listen, I like the double life, it's sort of exciting, but I don't want those two lives colliding." Carl said. "This is already too far for me, what if we got an uninvited guest? One of your friends could show up unexpectedly while I'm like this! Or one of mine!"

"Relax, we made clear that weekends were for us to be alone." Felicia said. "And if anyone sees you I'll just say that I'm cheating on Carl with another woman."

"I guess..." Carl sighed as Felicia put her arms around him.

"So you're sure that you don't want to tag along for dress shopping?" Felicia asked.

"I'm sure, after all, isn't it bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her gown before the wedding day?" Carl replied.

"True... and I guess if my mom and best friends are there, I wouldn't be able to convince you to try one on for yourself." Felicia replied.

"Definitely not." Carl insisted. "Besides, when would I ever wear it? I'm wearing a tux on the big day."

"I know..." Felicia sighed. "It's just such a cute image."

A few days later, Felicia returned home from dress shopping and immediately collapsed on the couch. Carl, with his hair tied back in a low ponytail and wearing his t-shirt and pajama bottoms, walked in from the kitchen with two glasses of wine.

"Rough day?" Carl asked, handing Felicia the glass. "Find anything good?"

"A few potential choices." Felicia said, accepting it and taking a sip. "Of course everyone has their own opinions. Driving me nuts."

"Well, you've still got time to shop around." Carl said.

"Speaking of that, I got a bit of an idea... you know how we were talking the other day about Carly and dress shopping?"

"When we agreed that it was a pointless idea and I wasn't going to do it?"

"Exactly." Felicia sat up, excited. "I was thinking while shopping, that there are a few other shops across town that I haven't checked out yet. What if I brought Carly with me? As part of our weekend agreement?"

"I don't know... I was fine going out in public on Valentine's Day because I had no way to change back... and then at the resort because we were nowhere near anyone we knew... but here, and now?" Carl asked.

"Come on..." Felicia put her hand on Carl's leg. "Just this one weekend. I won't ask for you to go out in public ever again!"

Carl mused on the idea for a few moments, while Felicia batted her eyelashes, which Carl was as powerless against as he always was.

"Fine. But just one weekend, okay?" Carl said.

"That's all I'll need." Felicia giggled.

On Friday night, as they settled in to watch TV on the couch, Carl, wearing a pair of pink sleep shorts and a camisole, sat with his foot in Felicia's lap as she gave him a pedicure, what had become one of their usual traditions, while he blew on his fingernails to make them dry faster.

"I still don't know why you insisted on French tips this weekend... all the effort when I'll be removing it Sunday night..." Carl mused between exhales.

"I just felt like doing something a little different this weekend." Felicia said. "Now keep your toes still so I can do this..."

Bright and early on Saturday morning, Felicia put in a new pair of earrings as Carl emerged from the bathroom, fully in Carly mode. His hair was styled in a messy center-part style, makeup done in natural tones that were still unmistakably feminine, and he was wearing a white floral dobby blouse with a blue polka dot midi skirt. He sat on the bed gracefully and began to put on a pair of low heeled sandals.

"I love that skirt on you." Felicia said.

"Thanks." Carl stood up and played with the skirt a bit.

"Excited?" Felicia asked, handing a purse to Carl.

"A little." Carl smiled. "I hope you find the perfect dress."

"Don't worry, I know I will, with you by my side." Felicia leaned in and kissed Carl.

At the dress shop, Carl sat, with crossed legs, on a cushioned bench, while Felicia came in and out of the room wearing various types of dresses. Felicia insisted that Carl give his opinion, in her words, "as if he was going to be wearing the dress", and so he did. He ruled out a few because he felt the straps were too unwieldy, another few because he didn't like how the skirt flowed outwards, and one because it was far too revealing.

Eventually, Felicia came out wearing the perfect dress, an A-line dress made out of lace and chiffon, featuring a scalloped v-neckline, and a long, flowing skirt. The only problem for Carl came from the open-back, but Felicia explained that a veil would be covering it, so it wasn't an issue.

"It's perfect." Carl said. "Is it the one that you love?"

"I think it is." Felicia smiled. "Let me go change."

Carl smiled as he watched his future bride walk back to the changing room. It was as if everything had become real, seeing Felicia standing there in that dress. Carl's elation continued, even as his patience withered, as five minutes later, Felicia hadn't yet returned. After tapping his foot for another ten, Carl sought out one of the employees of the store who had been helping them pick out dresses, a rotund woman named Fran.

"Excuse me, do you know what happened to my fiancée?" Carl asked.

"Oh, come right with me, Carly." Fran replied. "Let's go find her."

The employee led Carl into a changing room, where the perfect dress was hanging on a rack, with Felicia nowhere to be found.

"Where's Felicia?" Carl asked.

"She told us she wanted this to be a surprise, if you'd like privacy, you can use the screen over there." Fran pointed.

"Of course, she wants me to try it on." Carl sighed. "Let's get it over with."

Carl disrobed into his bra and panties, both white, and both picked out by Felicia. Fran helped Carl get into the dress. Carl posed in the mirror as Fran made sure the dress settled right on Carl's body. Carl was slightly guarded, but knew Felicia's tuck-job wasn't going to reveal itself easily, so he had nothing to worry about.

"I bet you've dreamed of this moment since you were a little girl, right?" Fran asked.

"Not exactly, but this is kinda nice. I should have expected it, though." Carl replied.

"If you'll step into these." Fran placed down a pair of white, open-toed heels that nicely showed off Carl's pedicure.

"Why do I need shoes for a fitting? And how did you know my size?" Carl asked.

"One last thing, the veil." Fran ignored him, and took out a veil placing it into Carl's hair. "What do you think?"

Carl turned to the mirror and gasped. His manicured hands immediately went to cover his mouth as he took in the sight of himself as the blushing bride. The dress looked just as perfect on him as it did on Felicia. As much as he tried not to get too involved while picking the dresses, he took Felicia’s advice to heart and had imagined himself wearing it. But he never thought he’d look this good!

Between the way the dress flowed, the way the veil sat over his face… And he understood why Felicia insisted on french tips. They were really the tip of the iceberg in making the look truly work, accentuating the beauty of Carly’s engagement ring. His stomach was doing cartwheels as he went through every emotion at once. Shock, awe, surprise, elation, and partly sadness that this was just a try-on.

"I can't believe it..." Carl started to tear up.

"Ooh, don't cry, dear, you don't want to ruin your makeup." Fran said, dabbing Carl's eyes with a tissue.

"Where's Felicia?" Carl asked. "She has to see this before I take it off."

"Oh, you're not taking it off." Fran softly smiled.

"Huh?"

"The dress is paid for. Felicia said she wanted you to wear it out of the store."

"What?!" Carl exclaimed, nearly falling over in the heels from the shock.

"It's okay, honey." Fran smiled and quickly helped Carl steady himself. "She left instructions that you're to go outside and get into the limo."

"Limo?"

Fran helped Carl to the entrance to the store, where a black limo awaited outside. The driver quickly opened the door and helped Carl inside, where Carl found empty seats, before starting to drive.

"Uh, where exactly are we going?" Carl asked.

"Sorry, miss. Under orders not to tell." the driver replied. "We'll be there soon, though."

All Carl could do was look out the window and try to guess their destination.

A Mixed-Up Wedding Ceremony:

As the limo drove through the city, Carl's anxiety was going through the roof.

“Oh my god… What the hell is Felicia planning? Where am I going? What if I see someone I know?” Carl’s brain frantically thought. “Dear god, what if that's what this is about? What if Felicia wants to reveal Carly to everyone?”

Carl nearly started hyperventilating until he composed himself, knowing Felicia would never do anything to hurt him. But where was he being brought, and for what purpose? Especially dressed as he was? Maybe she wanted to do a photoshoot? Carl could only sit and wonder as the limo continued driving through the city.

The limo eventually arrived at a hotel that Carl didn't recognize. The driver stopped and opened the door for Carl, helping him out of the car. He looked around, confused, until he saw an unexpected, yet familiar face approaching him.

"Darren?" Carl asked. "What are you doing here?"

Darren, who Felicia and Carl had met during their vacation, and had also been one of the first people their engagement was announced to, since they dropped into the hotel bar to celebrate that night, where Darren and Eric had been drinking, was walking towards Carl. Carl noted how different Darren looked in a suit, as opposed to the casual wear that he was wearing when they had met.

"Carly! Eric and I are in town for business and Felicia reached out to meet up. Come with me." Darren reached out his hand.

Carl took it, and Darren led him into the hotel and towards one of the private ballrooms. As they walked, Carl wondered why Darren would be wearing a suit if they were just meeting up. And why he didn’t bat an eyelash at the fact that Carl was wearing a wedding dress.

"Lemme guess, you're sworn to secrecy too?" Carl asked.

"Something like that. But I think you'll figure it out in a minute." Darren replied as they stopped in front of the door. Darren reached out and pulled the veil over Carl's face.

“Darren… What's going on?” Carl asked. “Where’s Felicia?”

Darren picked up a bouquet of flowers off of a chair and handed it to Carl. Carl's stomach did a few more backflips as the final switches flipped in his head, making him realize what was really going on.

Carl was speechless.

"I know that this isn't typical, but it's what Felicia wanted." Darren opened the door, and locked his arm around Carl's leading him into the ballroom.

Carl took in the sight of the room. It was fairly sparse, with some wedding decorations hanging up, save for a podium near the front, where Eric and Felicia were standing. Felicia was wearing a fitted suit that Carl had never seen before. She turned towards Carl and grinned.

Darren walked Carl down the aisle as a familiar tune played out of a speaker. Carl held back tears as he approached Felicia, When they got to the front of the room, Darren took back the bouquet, and Felicia reached out to grab both of Carl's hands.

"I told you it was perfect." Felicia said, pushing Carl's veil over his head.

"I don't understand." Carl said, choked up.

"I figured since it was Carly who proposed to me, that she should get to enjoy the wedding too." Felicia whispered into Carl's ear. “Consider it my version of a bachelor party.”

Eric cleared his throat.

"Dearly beloved, we are here to witness the union of Felicia and Carly, two souls that truly belong together, if all this effort is to be believed." Eric started, before making an aside. "I got officiated online for this."

Carl giggled as he gazed into Felicia's eyes.

"If there are any objections to this, speak now or forever hold your peace." Eric said, looking around the room jokingly. "Do you, Carly Stewart, take Felicia to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, until death do you part?"

"I do." Carl said.

"And do you, Felicia Miller, take Carly to be your... lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Felicia said.

"Well, I now pronounce you... woman and wife! You may now kiss the brides." Eric exclaimed.

Felicia quickly grabbed Carl and kissed him deeply. Darren and Eric smiled as they watched the kiss. Darren quickly popped the cork on a bottle of champagne and poured four glasses. After pulling away, Carl wiped more tears from his eyes.

"I can't believe you went to all this trouble." Carl cried.

"It's all worth it for you." Felicia said. “Always is.”

Darren handed two of the glasses to Carl and Felicia who took them. Eric picked up his own glass and held it up. The others followed suit.

“To Carly and Felicia!” Eric exclaimed.

Everyone raised their glasses and took a sip of the champagne.

“I’m so impressed that you managed to pull this off in secret.” Carl remarked.

“We’re not done yet, ladies.” Eric smiled and tapped a button on a nearby laptop.

Speakers in the room began to play a familiar song, one that Carl recognized quite well.

“This is the song that was playing when we met…” Carl started to tear up again.

“May I have this dance?” Felicia held her hand out to Carl.

“But I don’t know how to dance.” Carl took Felicia’s hand.

“Then you’re just gonna have to let me lead, then.” Felicia giggled and pulled Carl towards her, until their chests were touching.

Carl gazed into Felicia’s eyes while they danced, the song’s tempo being perfect for the slow dancing that Felicia was slowly teaching Carl how to do as they did it. Carl felt Felicia’s hand gripping his waist and saw their two manicured hands entwined as he tried to focus. Carl stumbled slightly as he tried to match Felicia’s moves. Carl was amazed at how fluidly he could move in the heels, although he had to admit, he’d had enough practice these last few months that it wasn’t a total shock.

Once Carl got the hang of it, he and Felicia moved perfectly in-sync, their bodies practically becoming one as Darren and Eric watched from the other side of the room, both happy for the couple and impressed at the skill. Carl's skirt flowed gorgeously as Felicia guided her bride around the room. Carl had never felt more feminine, even the initial makeover hadn’t made him feel as feminine and vulnerable as he did in this moment. But unlike the makeover, he felt at peace, knowing that Felicia was by his side.

Carl's heart fluttered as he thought about how he'd get the chance to repay Felicia for this at their real wedding, but for the moment, this was as much for Felicia as it was for Carl, and she was in heaven as she saw how happy it made Carl and herself. Carl expected to feel out of breath from doing the unfamiliar dance moves, but he instead felt invigorated from the dancing. At the apex of the dance, Carl knew what was coming next. Could Felicia dip him? Carl wasn't sure, but he gave himself entirely over to Felicia and she expertly spun Carl around, before pulling him back and dipping him in a final move that elicited applause from Darren and Eric.

“I don’t know what to say.” Carl said, breathlessly.

“Well, I do. That was beautiful.” Eric said.

“Thank you.” Felicia said, before embracing Carl in a hug.

"Do we just go home or did you plan a honeymoon as well?" Carl asked.

"I've taken the liberty of handling that." Darren held out a room key. "Honeymoon suite. One night, as requested."

Felicia took the room key and kissed Carl again.

“Congratulations, you two.” Eric said. “May your lives together be long and happy.”

“Thanks Eric… and thank you too, Darren.” Carl said. “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it. Though I’m a little disappointed you didn’t have a cake.” Darren chuckled.

“Next time you’re in town, we’ll buy you a cake.” Felicia said.

Everyone joined together in a laugh before the groups started to part ways.

"Shall we, my blushing bride?" Felicia asked, wiggling the room key.

"Lead the way, my love." Carl picked up his skirt and followed Felicia out of the ballroom.

One thing was for sure, Carl was definitely not going to be doing any work from home this weekend. This weekend belonged to Carly.

The End?

The Luck of the Irish

 "Come on, can't we go double or nothing on the next game?" Aaron pleaded.

"A bet's a bet, buddy, and the agreement was that whoever lost would have to work the St. Paddy's shift. In costume." Sean crossed his arms and shook his head.

Having to work a holiday shift in costume might not sound that bad, but it wasn't the general scenario that Aaron was worried about. It was the costume. Sean was the owner of a local pub, and his best friend Aaron was his lead bartender, although Sean tended to take a hands-on approach and was behind the bar more often than not. This year, Sean and Aaron had gotten the idea to dress up for the occasion, with Sean ordering two costumes from some no-name website. When they arrived is when they discovered that something had gone wrong.

"Okay, so here's the leprechaun outfit..." Sean dug through the box. "And this is the beard, the pipe and... a shoe box?"

Aaron reached inside and pulled the lid off the box, revealing a pair of green high heels.

"Which costume does this go to?" Aaron asked as he held the shoe in his hand.

"Probably this one." Sean pulled out a plastic bag with an image of a redheaded woman dressed in a leprechaun costume, a short green blazer, white blouse, green vest, and a short green skirt, long socks, and heels, in addition to various accessories, including a green top hat on a headband and a belt.

"Who'd you order that for?" Aaron asked.

"I didn't..." Sean looked over the packing slip. "They screwed up. I put in for two leprechaun costumes and they sent us a his & her's set, probably mixed it with someone else's order."

"Looks like the right sizes, though. We're both around the same size, and both these costumes look like they'd fit either of us." Aaron said. "One of us'll have to go costume-less though, since with how long this took to get here, you'll never get a replacement by the 17th."

Sean thought for a moment and had a look in his eyes that Aaron had come to mistrust.

"Actually..." Sean smirked. "I've got an idea. We've got the one, and what if we used the other one for a little friendly wager?"

"What did you have in mind?" Aaron asked.

"Your favorite basketball team and my favorite basketball team are playing against each other in two days, right? Whoever's team wins gets the his costume, and whoever loses, has to wear the her's. During the St. Patrick's Day shift."

"So one of us ends up as a sexy leprechaun?" Aaron asked. "I admit, the idea of you in a skirt and heels is tempting."

"Then the wager's on?" Sean stuck out his hand.

Aaron thought for a moment, his team was having a great season, and had taken down Sean's team time and time again in the past. This was going to be a great St. Patrick's Day.

"Deal." Aaron shook Sean's hand.

Naturally, the luck of the Irish didn't hold true for Aaron, and Sean held steadfast on fulfilling the terms of the wager, hence why Aaron was staring at the costume and accessories, still in their containers, and sitting on his couch. He was broken out of his reverie when his roommate, and younger sister Eileen walked into their shared apartment. She took one look at the costume and sighed.

"If you expect any girl to wear that, especially any self-respecting Irish lass, you're nuts." Eileen giggled as she used a fake brogue.

"It's not for a girl... it's for me." Aaron sighed.

After Aaron explained the stakes of the wager to Eileen, she loudly guffawed as she cracked open two beers and handed one to Aaron.

"So what are the rules of the wager? Do you need to wear a wig or anything? What about makeup?" Eileen asked.

"We didn't really go over that, I think all he's expecting is for me to wear the costume, the satisfaction of winning comes from me being embarrassed." Aaron replied.

"Well, if that's all there is, I might have a solution for you." Eileen said.

"What's your idea?"

"If the humor comes from the fact that you're a guy wearing a sexy women's costume, why not take all the fun out of it for Sean by embracing it?

"Embrace it?"

"You know, the whole shebang, shave your legs, wear a wig or something, make yourself fully passable, so that all anyone sees is a sexy Irish girl serving drinks instead of a crossdressed dude. I guarantee no one'll laugh at you then. I might even have a few ideas."

Aaron mulled the idea over in his head for a few moments. His biggest fear was that his reputation would become that guy in the skirt and heels, equally afraid of videos or images making their way onto social media. But if he was unrecognizable?

"Sis, I think you're a genius!" Aaron exclaimed.

The night before St. Patrick's Day, Aaron looked over his shoulder as Eileen led him into a building with all the blinds shuttered. Eileen rolled her eyes as they crossed the threshold into an empty salon.

"And you're sure no one will come in?" Aaron asked.

"Don't worry, big brother, the salon closed over an hour ago. The only client coming in is you." Eileen motioned to one of the chairs situated near the mirror. "Take a seat."

Aaron nodded and sat down in the chair. He jumped when he heard a noise from the back room.

"You said no one else was here!" Aaron whispered.

"Calm down, it's just Molly. She's a stylist." Eileen said. "This is a two-person job, and before you ask, she's sworn to secrecy."

"No need to worry, we always use discretion here." Molly said, walking out of the back room carrying a box. "Ooh, you didn't tell me your brother was cute."

Aaron blushed slightly.

"Ew, Mol." Eileen said, turning to Aaron. "Now let's get to work. First things first, did you do what I asked?"

"Shaved everything below my eyebrows this morning." Aaron remarked, pulling up his pant leg and rubbing the smooth skin. "It's a weird feeling."

"Go into the back room, strip to your boxers, then sit back, and relax." Molly said as she started to fill the basin with warm water.

Aaron complied, returned a few moments later in just his boxers, allowing Eileen and Molly to get a look at his smooth body.

"Nice, I'd have expected a few nicks." Eileen remarked.

"You sure you've never done this before?" Molly giggled.

Aaron shook his head and laid back in the chair. Molly leaned his head back into the basin and started washing his hair, while Eileen pulled up a cart and started to work on Aaron's nails, shaping and buffing them. Aaron tried to follow along with the conversation, but being in the basin with running water near his ears was distorting his hearing. He decided to just shut his eyes and let everything happen.

"You know, I envy you two." Molly said as she scrubbed Aaron's scalp. "I wish I had the red hair that you have. Brown is fine, but your hair is gorgeous."

"We've got our mother to thank for that." Eileen said, as she filed Aaron's nails.

"So this is all for a sports bet?" Molly asked. "Seems a little... extreme."

"He and Sean are always doing stuff like this, but I'm the one who suggested taking it to the next level." Eileen said as she fit a nail extension to one of Aaron's fingernails. "Truthfully, I didn't think he'd go for it."

Once Aaron's fingernails were extended, Eileen began painting them with a shamrock green nail polish, while Molly started weaving ginger hair extensions that matched the color that both Eileen and Aaron sported into Aaron's hair. Once she finished with the acrylics, she moved onto buffing and shaping Aaron's toenails. Aaron rejoined the conversation as he looked at his extended nails.

"Wow..." Aaron said.

"It's a nice color, isn't it?" Eileen asked.

"Sure, but why are you doing my toenails? I'm gonna be wearing socks." Aaron said.

"It's an immersion thing, to make you feel like a sexy leprechaun... and maybe I just felt like giving you a pedicure." Eileen giggled.

"If no one sees it, I don't see why it matters." Molly said as she brushed out Aaron's hair.

Molly grabbed a makeup bag off the tray and started picking through items. It was a whirlwind, and Aaron wasn't even sure what everything was, as Molly and Eileen brushed, penciled, plucked and applied every cosmetic under the sun. When they were finished, Aaron wiggled his toenails as Eileen pulled out the separators and checked his fingernails for smudges, while Molly did some last minute touching up of the hair, before turning the chair around, to allow Aaron to see the final result.

"Woah..." Aaron remarked as he pulled at his long, curly red hair with his hands, now tipped with manicured nails. "Feels real."

"It is real, just not your own hair." Molly said.

Aaron's face had been expertly made-up, with his blue eyes defined by not only the slightly arched eyebrows that he now sported, but by the green eye shadow and curled lashes. All of his facial blemishes had been erased, and his face even appeared to be shaped slightly differently, being rounder and less angled, if that was even possible. His lips had even seemed to grow larger and more defined thanks to the red lipstick that he was wearing. Aaron gazed into the mirror, transfixed by his own reflection.

"Earth to Aaron... you okay?" Eileen asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. Aaron jumped.

"Uh yeah... I'm fine." Aaron muttered as he shook his head.

"Never realized you were this vain..." Eileen remarked. "Now come on, we've got a few more things left."

Eileen started to walk towards the back room, Aaron stood and followed her while Molly cleaned up around the chair.

"I thought it was just gonna be this." Aaron motioned towards himself.

"I had one more idea this morning, but I wanted to see if you would be up to it." Eileen said, taking out a box and showing the contents to Aaron.

"Fake boobs?" Aaron asked.

"The proper term is breast forms, but yeah, I figured the costume looks like it's for a busty girl, so you might want something to hold it up there." Eileen replied.

"I dunno..." Aaron mulled it over.

"Unless you'd rather be Erin Go Bra-less." Eileen giggled. "But if you don't wanna do it, that's fine."

"Eh, all right. I mean, I've already gone this far, what's one more step?" Aaron said.

"All right, lay down on the bench." Eileen shrugged.

Aaron complied and Eileen quickly pressed the forms down onto Aaron's chest, he shivered when he felt the glue touch his skin.

"And there we go!" Eileen clapped. "Goodbye Aaron, Hello Erin!"

Aaron sat up and adjusted to the new weight on his chest.

"Maybe we shouldn't have glued them..." Aaron said.

"Don't worry, I've got the solvent, so they can come off whenever you want 'em to." Eileen said, handing Aaron his shirt, which he pulled over his chest, adjusting it to fit over the breasts.

"Woah..." Molly remarked as she walked into the back room. "You look good, Aaron."

"Thanks." Aaron blushed. "You think anyone will be able to tell?"

"I did your hair and I can barely tell." Molly said, before turning to Eileen. "Lemme guess, you always wanted a sister growing up?"

"Maybe a little bit." Eileen held her thumb and forefinger with a small amount of space between them.

The next morning, Sean, wearing a green suit, cheap fake beard and green top hat, was sweeping up near the bar when he heard the door open and heard clicking steps approaching him.

"Top of the morning!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Glad to see that you're..." Sean started as he turned around and saw Aaron.

Sean's eyes immediately went down to the floor and traveled up Aaron's body, starting at the green high heels, the knee-high white socks, the smooth legs leading into the skirt with no sign of a bulge near the belt, then to his chest where the vest and blouse strained against a set of breasts, then to the head, where gorgeous, curly red hair framed a perfectly made-up face, topped with the small hat on the headband. Aaron smiled as he watched his friend's reaction.

"Holy crap..." Sean muttered. "Aaron! I didn't think... Wow."

"Not what you had in mind, right?" Aaron hesitantly smiled. "And according to Eileen, she's decided that I'm Erin when I'm dressed like this."

"Not at all... you look... hot!" Sean exclaimed. "You did that yourself?"

"I had Eileen's help." Aaron replied.

"That explains... well that explains everything actually." Sean chuckled. "She's outdone herself this time."

"You think?" Aaron asked. "I spent last night doing a crash course in walking in heels! Eileen insisted."

"Well, you're gonna need it, cause you're gonna be on your feet for a long time today." Sean said. "I hope you're ready to serve drinks to drunks who wish they were Irish."

"Aye! I am!" Aaron replied with a smile.

When the bar opened for business, Sean was inundated with several patrons praising the new bartender, surprised at how she already knew the regulars' orders, and even more surprised at the rapport she had. And a few even mentioned how they felt that Erin was far easier on the eyes than boring old Aaron. Sean decided not to tell them that he hadn't actually replaced Aaron, better to let them think what they wanted.

Aaron on the other hand, was having a rough night, despite appearances. His feet hurt, he knew he was getting stares and leers from the drunk patrons, but he couldn't let Sean have the satisfaction of knowing that he wasn't having fun, so he had to put on a brave face.

"Erin! Another round over here!" one of the customers shouted from a table.

Aaron quickly gathered a tray of fresh beers and went over to the table to replace the empties. As he went to pick up the tray once more, he felt a squeeze on his butt. Aaron quickly turned around, blushing furiously. The culprit was one of the regulars, that Aaron recognized as Clancy.

"Hey!" Aaron admonished.

Aaron was about to tell Clancy off, when he realized that Sean was watching from the bar, and quickly composed himself, playfully punched Clancy on the shoulder while giggling, and grabbed the tray off the table, before rushing back to the bar.

"Everything okay?" Sean asked.

"Of course," Aaron replied. "Nothing I can't handle."

Aaron remembered his crash course session with Eileen the night before, he only told Sean about the learning to walk in heels part, but it went a bit farther than that.

"Remember, if the patrons get handsy, you've got to keep your cool. After all, if Sean sees how disgusted you are, he gets the satisfaction, right?" Eileen asked.

"Yeah." Aaron said. "So what do I do?"

"Joke around, be playful. Trust me." Eileen said.

Sean was pretty impressed, Aaron even got into character, using a fake brogue as he spoke to the patrons, and when quizzed, made up an entire backstory for Erin.

"Where are you from, lass? Sounds like you're a Donegal girl!" one of the barflies, a handsome Irishman asked.

"No, am from Mayo!" Aaron giggled in response. "But me da's from Donegal!"

Aaron was surprised at just how easily he slipped into character, despite being uncomfortable. He was just taking Eileen's advice to its logical conclusion. After all, he couldn't give Sean the satisfaction of knowing how uncomfortable he really was. Course it helped that no one saw him as anything but the pretty Irish woman he appeared to be.

"Hey Erin! Look at my shirt!" one of the barflies, Brody exclaimed.

Aaron turned to Brody to see he was wearing a bright green t-shirt with large white letters proclaiming "KISS ME, I'M IRISH". Aaron quickly laughed it off.

"Nice try, Brody." Aaron chuckled.

Unfortunately, Brody's compatriots at the bar found it a far more enticing suggestion, and started pounding on the bar.

"KISS! KISS! KISS!" they shouted.

Brody leaned over the bar with his lips puckered. Aaron rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss Brody's cheek. Aaron shut his eyes tight and prepared to feel Brody's stubble. At the last second, Brody turned and grabbed Aaron's shoulders, pulling him into a full-mouth kiss. Aaron's eyes shot opened and bugged out as he tried to pull away, but Brody's grip held firm in both his lips and his hands. Once it over over, Aaron pulled back and shot a nasty glare at Brody. He felt nauseous and leaned on the bar for support.

Sean shot a look of concern towards Aaron, but Aaron quickly shook himself and relaxed, simply smiling back at his best friend. He could be grossed out later, he can't let Sean see it, though.

As the night went on, and Aaron continued to serve drinks, playfully fought off the barflies pawing at his costume, and joined in on some traditional Irish songs, Eileen and Sean watched from the other end of the bar, both drinking beers as they observed Aaron.

"I've gotta hand it to ya, Eileen." Sean remarked as he and Eileen watched Aaron serving drinks at the other end of the bar. "He turned out really well."

"I know..." Eileen grinned, before Sean passed a $20 bill across the bar to her.

"So much for the luck of the Irish... I never figured he'd agree to the makeover, let alone all this." Sean said. "Wanna go double or nothing? I bet you he won't take it as far as going home with some guy."

Eileen thought for a moment and looked over at Aaron, who was giggling as he tended bar and chatted with the barflies. Eileen turned back to Sean.

"You're on." Eileen smirked.

After all, she was feeling lucky.

The End